The Book of the Parody

I Remember the Alamo

A parody of the movie Titanic

My name is Rosa. Today is March 6, the anniversary of the famous battle at the Alamo. It reminds me of my whole time there. It was both a good time and a bad time. I was there with my fiancÚ Rico. He was a soldier under the Colonel whom I will simply referred to as that because I forgot his name. Anyway, Rico was rich and after the war, he planned to buy a big house on the U.S. border. I didn't really like him, but my parents wanted me to marry him.

It was a hot day when I arrived at the Alamo with the Texans, of which there were only 155. We entered through the front gate and settled in and prepared for an attack at any time from the Mexicans. That ni ght, it was hard for me to get to sleep, but I eventually did. The next morning, I woke up late in the afternoon and heard from one of the children that an expedition, of which Rico was a member, was sent out to scout the area for the Mexicans and that t hey had not returned yet. A couple of hours later, a man from the expedition returned. He was extremely tired from running. He told the Colonel that they had run into the Mexicans and that he was ordered back to tell the Colonel. He said that he didn 't know what happened to the others because he left just before the Mexicans reached the expedition. I had a feeling that they were dead, so I went to the sleeping quarters and began to cry. I stayed there until night. Then I went outside and climbed to t he top of the Alamo. I wanted to jump off and end my life, but before I could a man came up behind me and said, "Ma'am, please don't jump."

I replied, "Why not? I've got nothing to live for. My fiancee is gone." I began to cry.

"Don't cry. I'm sure he's fine. Now, please come down from there."

I turned around and saw that the man was the only black slave in the Alamo. His name was JosÚ. I stopped crying and said, "All right." As I was stepping off, I slipped and fell. Luckily, I was able to grab the wall. JosÚ grabbed my hand and almost made me fall because he grabbed the hand that was holding the wall. He was holding me and pulling. He kept saying, "I won't let you go. Pull yourself up. I can't pull you all the way up. "

I replied, "Are you insulting me!"

"No, I...I...I'm just weak. That's all."

"Oh." I pulled myself up, and the force of him pulling caused me to fall on him. We rolled and he eventually ended up on top of me. Just then the expedition returned. Rico saw us and ran up to us. He pulled JosÚ off of me and began beating him. I yelled at him to stop. Then he replied, "Why? He was attacking you."

"No, he wasn't."

"Then what was he doing?"

"Uh...he was just...just...I don't know."

"Okay, now I'm confused. I'm going to sleep. Good night."

"I'll be right there." I got up, thanked JosÚ, and went to the sleeping quarters. I quickly went to sleep. The next day, the expedition team was sent out to patrol the area. I went and found JosÚ . I tapped him on the shoulder and he jumped. I said, "Sorry. I came here to thank you, so thanks."

"It was nothing."

"Nothing! You saved my life! Don't insult me by saying that saving my life was nothing!"

"I didn't mean it like that, ma'am. Sorry."

"Oh, sorry." I spent the rest of the day with him. He told me all about himself, and he showed me his artwork. He was really good. I never saw anyone that could draw perfect lines on their stick figures before. I really liked him. He was sweet and handsome, too. I spent a lot of time with him. One time, when we were on the high level of the Alamo, he was teaching me how to spit. At first, I thought it was barbaric, but after a while, I began to enjoy it. We would try to spit on the rocks below, but we always missed. While I was spitti ng, the expedition team returned, and I accidentally spit on Rico's head. He looked up and saw us. He entered the Alamo and ran up to me. He was mad, and he said, "What are you doing with this slave?"

"I was just..."

He interrupted me and said, "Spitting with him! Do you love him or something?"

"No, of course not." I lied to him because the truth was that I did love him.

"You lie!" After he said that, I spit at him but missed and hit JosÚ. I ran to the sleeping quarters and went to sleep. The next day, I was awakened by the sounds of people scurrying around. By asking some soldiers, I found that the Mexicans had surrounded the Alamo. I then heard a soldier tell the Colonel, "Sir, we don't have enough guns."

He replied by yelling, "There aren't enough guns. Give them to the women and children first."

"Uh, Sir? Why would we give the guns to them?"

"Sorry." Then he yelled, "Change of plans. Men, you take the guns. Shelter the women and children." The men grabbed guns, and the men without guns told us to stay in here. We waited in the room listening to the gunshots and to the banging on the door by the Mexicans. Then a man came in and told us to get ready for the Mexicans to enter. About a minute after that, I heard the door break and the M exicans enter. I went to the door and watched the fighting. I saw JosÚ take out a lone Mexican in the corner. After he took out the man, I yelled to him, "I love you."

He heard me, smiled, and then yelled, "I'm the king of the world!"Then Rico, who had heard me too, shot him and said, "You're a dead king now, you filthy slave!" After I saw that, I had pure hatred in my heart. I ran over to him, spit in his face (and I actually hit him this time), and kicked him in the balls. He let out a horrible cry and then fell to the ground. Then a Mexican laughed at him, so I kicked him in the balls, too. He quickly fell to the ground. Then I ran out of the Alamo and past the Mexicans who let me go because I was only a woman. I kept running until I reached t he nearest town.

I'll never forget JosÚ . He was the only man that I ever truly loved. I later heard that all of the Texans at the Alamo lost their lives in the brave fight. The 155 of them killed over 600 Mexicans. It was sad for me when I heard this because all of those men, besides Rico, were good men. Now, I'm tired and must go to sleep because I must get up early to milk the cows.

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